BA Plagiarism Studies

[From the Laurie Taylor column in the Times Higher Education Supplement] - Of interest to those who write Focus, or resignation speeches...

University of Poppleton: BA in plagiarism studies
Following the increased attention being accorded to the question of plagiarism in higher education, we are pleased to announce the launch of a new degree in plagiarism studies. Following the increased attention being accorded to the question of plagiarism in higher education, we are pleased to announce the launch of a new degree in plagiarism studies.
Graduates from this course may look forward to obtaining well-paid employment in many of the sectors of commerce that currently place a heavy reliance on plagiarism: daytime tv (presenting and producing); takeaway pizza advertising; the preparation of political manifestos; writing chancellors' degree-day speeches; devising "family and children" statements for discredited politicians; and the compilation of mantras and litanies.
All students will be required to take compulsory courses in the following subject areas; constructive photocopying; intermediate and advanced cut-and-paste techniques; disguising critical sources; counterfeiting names and dates; evading electronic detection tools; bypassing attributions; wholesale downloading; dubious citations; makey-uppy quotations; intermediate and advanced paraphrasing; general principles of collusion; and submitting other peoples work: theory and practice.
Students on this course will be examined by tutoes who are specially trained in the detection of originality. Any sign of such a characteristic in submitted work will attract serious penalties. In the words of our chief external examiner: "Graduates from this course will not be expected to have a single original idea in their heads."
Successful undergraduate students may consider applying for a place on our newly founded postgraduate course in advanced and contagious plagiarism: MPhil bubonic plagiarism.
We look forward to hearing from you. We look forward to hearing from you.