Oaten's launch

Oaten's campaign launch sounds like it was dreamed up late at night. With lots of inspiration from the way the tories launched their leadership bids (a bevy of supporters surrounding the latest contender).
Simon Hoggart, in the Grauniad, describes the scene well. Oaten-Opik does sound like a health food brand.

"I believe I am a 21st century Liberal, and I am determined to lead a 21st century Liberal party," he added, which translates as: "Ming is 64, and past it, whereas I sound like a first-rate, hi-fibre health food."

There are also a number of phrases that could make a Colmanballs column in the Eye.